The Battle Over Finger Drumming – Will It Ever End?

Ok people, listen up! There has been an ongoing battle of sorts between people who really enjoy finger drumming and those who would like to throw finger drummers off a cliff, or something like that. It’s not currently our world’s biggest problem (I wish it were!). First, decide right now in your head which one of those two camps you fall into. If you are ambivalent, good for you! You may simply watch and possibly be entertained.

As for the rest of you, allow me to explain a little bit about each of these two groups. Let’s start with the “annoyed” group first. These are people who are unappreciative of your finger drumming habits. Their lack of appreciation can come from many different sources. For instance:

  • They are in the library studying for their bar exam.
  • They had a bad musical experience as a child, and it triggers bad memories.
  • They’ve had a pounding headache for 15 minutes and just realized it’s because a nearby finger drummer has been getting progressively louder with each passing second.
  • They are oboe or harp players and tend to see your “art” as “not art.”

While there are varying degrees of being annoyed by finger drumming, many who fall into the “annoyed” category are best represented in this anonymous comment below (all 63 cuss words have been removed):

 “Drumming? No, you aren’t. You’re just slamming your fingers against your desk. Stop it. Stop it forever. No one wants to hear your imaginary drum solos. No one. It’s as pathetic as air guitar but marginally worse since we have to hear your obnoxious garbage instead of just watch. Your habit is both annoying and impossible to ignore.”

On the other side of the drum, we have those who love finger drumming or are welcoming receivers of finger drumming talent. Their enthusiasm and appreciation also can come from many different sources. For instance:

  • They have been scolded for bringing their drumset into the library in the past.
  • They’ve had great musical experiences and are just trying to share the love!
  • They think a solid, funny prank is to quietly finger drum and gradually increase in volume until someone yells, “STOP! You’re giving me a headache!” (They will usually leave at that point and seek out their next victim).
  • They are real drummers but have never actually heard an oboe or a harp, or at least that they can remember.

So here is the solution to our divided world on this issue. Finger drummers, be sensitive to the needs and desires of others and the environment in which you choose to “perform” in. Recognize and embrace the idea that not everyone is equally impressed with your finger drumming skills. Nor do they necessarily want to hear yourJohn Bonham arrangement of the drum solo from Led Zeppelin’s “Moby Dick” song. And that prank? It’s kind of mean.

And those of you who fall into the “annoyed group? We cede your right to study for your bar exam in the library. It’s all yours. Many finger drummers will probably end up needing your services at some point, so by all means, study hard! For those of you who had bad personal experiences with music, we suggest you try again by taking private lessons from someone you like and may also have a degree in anger management. Oboe and Harp players, we challenge you to spend less than 32 hours in a practice room this we and open your mind slowly to other music genres. Not all at once – don’t panic! Start with something like John Denver Folk songs before you jump right into classic hard rock  Meat Loaf music. It’s a process.

There. Problem solved!

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